New Year's Eve

Spending New Year's Eve alone. I had hoped to go to his house with another couple and at least be in the same room as him to ring in the new year. We spent a wonderful Chistmas Eve together and a a few days in between. Everything was going great and then we had a very boozy day out. We met his wife late in the day.

My behaviour with him was flirtatious throughout. I kept touching him in front of his wife. I got so drunk I made a complete ass of myself. Listening to my list of crimes I can't even comphrehend what I was thinking or going trough my mind.

Apparently I was falling down drunk and completely crazy. Miraculously she still doesn't suspect. But we can't risk another encounter like that. Or rather he can't. He doesn't want a divorce and his life ruined.

So while everyone else is counting down the New Year I am home alone. He came over today and all is forgotten he said. But then he wanted sex.

I think he understands more than me my mind and that I have a harder time than him compartmentalising my relationships. He is my boyfriend and I want everyone to know.

But to him I am still number 2. It is easy to say my NY resolution is to end it and get a new boyfriend. I looked at my dating inbox and it doesn't hold much promise.

In fact it is depressing. I am attractive, healthy, well to do and outwordly have a lot going for me. Tonight I cried that year after year nothing is changing.

A friend of mine called me to cry on my shoulder that her recent boyfriend turned out to be a fraud. Completely. Married for a start. He was supposed to be a weathly singleton. She never even cared about the money. But his disappearances when he was supposedly out of the country on business he was playing the dutiful husband and father.

The fact that Mark can cheat so blantantly on his wife and take so many chances and then tell me he loves her "deeply" in next breath makes me hate him.

I think it was hate that inspired me to behave so badly that night.

Hope and desperation are the reasons he is still in my life.

Christmas Romance

Loverboy and his wife and I have have made several arrangements to see each other over Christmas. It may not be the romantic Christmas of my dreams but it will have to do along with a few stolen hours when she is out.

Chistmas wish list

1. Silk sheets for my king size bed


2. Perfume


3. Lingere


4. Silk stockings


5. Nipple Pasties


6. Jasmine scented candle


7. Leather gloves


8. Leather boots


9. New bedroom lamp


10. New bedroom light fixture


11. Kinky bedroom accessories


12. New cushions
    

How to make your legs look slimmer

Dressing to please a man is important - in my opinion. However this doesn't mean tarty or sleazy. In fact ask most men what they prefer and they like classy. The sexier stuff should be worn underneath descreetly.

Lots and lots of men love stockings especially fishnets. Lots of girls only wear tights these days. I find tights generally less comfortable, especially in the crotch. Also, if you get a run you have to throw out the whole pair.

But with stockings and stay-ups if you have several pairs of the same style you only have to replace the one with the run and they will last longer. Handy for a night out to slip an extra one in your bag and takes up less room.

But the best tip of all is to try fishnets with a fairly small patern (picutre shown above left) from Levante). Because of the contour on your legs the net shapes around your leg giving a black outline and shadow. This shapes your legs and makes them appear slimmer.

Order online from Figleaves, Agent Provocateur or UK Tights

Christmas present

I love dressing up and having loverboy over to help me decorate my tree provided me with an opportunity dress up. I browsed around but all the little sexy Santa suits were all on the cheap side and with lobster and a £100 bottle of champers some how sticking on something cheap wouldn't do.

10 very bad things

1. I am seeing a good friend's husband
2. They live on my doorstep
3. I am falling in love with him
4. He says he loves me
5. She is a nice person who puts her all into their marriage and tries to be the perfect wife
6. I would make a lousey wife in the traditional sense
7. We both are engaging in very kinky sex and getting kinkier
8. We live in a tightly knit community
9. It would ruin our entire lives if we were caught
10. Both of us love what we are doing too much to stop