Hitting the books

All this sex is making me want more not less. Prior to this affair my last meaningful relationship ended 2 years ago. After suffering a two year drought its great to be complimented for my talents. I love sucking cock and being able to deliver an amazing blow job is a great feeling.

But there is always more to learn. On the days we don't see each other it is good to keep the anticipation running at full tilt. Rude little texts and some pervy phone sex really keeps us on heat. Coco de Mer one of my favourite shops has a fabulous selection of books on everything from being dominent to phone sex. After picking out a selection I am now hitting the books to improve my art even more.

Speaking of hitting I couldn't resist this cute paddle! Wonder who it will be used on first?

Tips for Dating a Married Man

I found so far the whole experience very liberating! Encounters with Mark are extroadinary and all about fantasy. And is the way it should be. A wonderful sexual dreamscape.

1. Let him come to you and do all the calling.


2. Remember he is married and it is probably not going to change anytime soon, if ever.


3. Talk only with someone you trust and who doesn't know his wife.


4. Don't ask or talk about the future. Always stay in the present.


5. Make yourself available for dates with other men and keep your eyes open for his replacement. You don't owe him your fidelity.


6. You don't need to know what he is doing when he is not with you. Keep your life brief as well.


7. Make your time together exceptional. Stock his favourite tipple, light candles (scented)


8. Wear you best lingerie and use him to make yourself feel great. Indulge youself and buy more. When you are having amazing sex £175 for a nightdress seems reasonable. http://www.luxuryfrenchlingerie.com/


9. Experiment sexually. This is a safe situation for you to as he has more to lose by telling tales.


10. Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.


11. You don’t know what really goes in their marriage so don't assume or take his word as gospel.


12. Don’t try to force change or trap him.


13. Listen to him and don't blab on about your life. Watch his body language and enjoy his company.


14. Don’t ask questions, you may not like the answers to, like his vacation with his wife.

Lots of women get involved with married men. Statistics say 40% of married men will cheat at some point. It is almost just as high for women as well. There are also times when it suits such as in between relationships or not just wanting to get serious. You get the company of a man with lots of sex and no strings. You also get your freedom.

Does your decor create a positve effect on the libido?

Yesterday, I stopped by Loverboys house to give him a wake-up call. I prefer my own home and don't like to do it in some one else's bed. That increases the risk factor as well as adding insult to injury. He insisted and curiousity about what their bedroom would be like also motivated me.

He left the door open and I walked up the stairs to find him lying naked in their small bed waiting for me. The room smelled musky and stale. Glaring sunlight streamed through the net curtains almost blinding me. I guess it was what you'd expect from a subhurban married couple's bedroom. It was a little bit sad that it was the least lavishly decorated room in the house. I didn't feel my usual and erotic self.

Expensive furnishings were reserved for the rooms they entertain in, the living room, dining room etc. I sat down beside him on the cheap tacky blue and yellow poly-cotton duvet cover and placed my handbag on her bedside table next to her brick-a-bac. My handbag never looked so out of place.

The table lamps looked like they cost £10, if that, and had the same dingy patern as the duvet cover. The lemon coloured walls had a boarder of wallpaper with the same pattern. Probably from Argos, years ago. The bed seemed very small. . The furniture was cheap white MDF.

It got me thinking to the effect of good bedroom decor on the libido. My own bedroom is decorated in rich browns, reds, pink and black.

My tips for a seductive bedroom decor are:

• Choose good colours for sex: reds, black, purple (not lilac), pinks (warm and rich with darker colours), creams (again with darker colours), flesh colours, gold, metalics, dark browns and maroons.


• The bigger and more dramatic the bed the better. Think of it as a stage. Don't discount sleigh beds for the kinky appeal - ropes can be wound around the feet.


• Don't go for Divans - yuck!!


• Luxurious artwork and the more erotic the better. Big and oversized is best.


• Lots of pillows and cushions - these will come in handy ;-)


• Reflective surfaces and large mirrors


• Beautiful Dressing table (minimum of make up and perfume)


• Lots of texture- fur throws, leather, silk, satan and some rougher surfaces ;-)


• Toy box for your stash of toys (the more the better) as well as


• lotions, oils, room scents, lubes, etc.


• Lamps with soft diffused lighting


• Rich draps (no net curtains!) or blinds if the decor is ultra chic and modern

My favourite shops for the bedroom are Coco de Mer and And So to Bed! I guarantee you won't get a solid night's sleep! If you are still not convinced that the bedroom is worthy of luxury furniture consider that this is the place where you will spend approximately 1/3 of your life. The right matress can make a huge difference in getting a good night's sleep as well preventing back aches.

Our first vacation together

Can't wait until he can sneak away for 10 whole days with me.

expirement

After 3 months we are comfortable with each other and the situation. I can predict which nights I will see him and almost every opportunity is taken advantage of.

A few weeks ago I brought him a prostrate massaging toy by Nexus and treated him to his first anal penetration. He trusts me enough to use it on him along with other toys now. He absolutely loves it.

Like a lot of men he associated anal sex with being gay. But after witnessing me in the full throws of pleasure at having a vibrator inserted in my ass he wanted to try it himself.

This has now given us more options.... Such as me giving him a blow job while penetrating him anally or using a double ended vibrator so we can penetrate each other and grind it into each other.

Now we are opening up to each other and discussing our most private fantasies and trying new things. Sex is now an incredible game for us to play. He said that he never knew sex could be like this and he finds normal sex boring now. Telling me, "I've never felt like this before and had feelings so strong for anyone else", he told me one night. I feel exactly the same way. I had a boyfriend and sex just involved the missionary position with me lying there staring at the ceiling.
I always wished sex could be like this.

The only problem is it might be difficult to go back to regular sex.

Why men cheat

I know Mark loves his wife. I know they have a good marriage. He is the type of husband that any woman would dream of wanting for a husband. Their home is beautiful and warm. They are both successful and have an enviable lifestyle.

So why does he cheat?

Generally there are 3 reasons why men cheat.

1. They don't want to leave a relationship without the support of another person so choose to an exit affair. In this they sometimes want to get caught. The affair is their ticket out as well as validation they can still get some one else and support!
   
2. The marriage has broken down but they don't want to leave for reasons of children, financial and the hassle. It is an easy way to have their cake and eat it too. Often they have grown appart or she hasn't aged as well.
   
3. Boredom, sexual needs not being met and a crime of opportunity. This is the man who will lie, deny it and when faced with over whelming evidence will appologise profusely and say it is all a mistake but a year later will do it again. Once they get a taste for it they will do it again.

I think he is in the third group. He seems to regard this as temporary and fun thing. I know because he talks so fondly of his relationship with his wife and always uses the words us, we, ours etc. He seems happy being married.

While he is holding me in my arms telling me how much he cares for me, how gorgeous I am and how much he enjoys spending time I remind myself that this a man who loves his wife and who cheats.

Out of the three he is the worst kind.

Money

I was having a girlie chat with some friends when one girl admitted that in her early years at college she entered into a couple of relationships with married men. Although she didn’t consider herself a prostitute she was ‘funded’ and she probably wouldn’t have entered into the relationship if he hadn’t promised to ‘help her’.

I looked over at S. I expected her, as a married woman, to be horrified by all these disclosures. To my astonishment she wasn’t. She said that there have been times that the one of the reasons they have stayed together was money. As a couple they a fantastic lifestyle and if they were to split up that would all change. She only ever dated men who had a good income and couldn’t see any thing wrong with expecting the man you are in a relationship with to contribute financially. The second reason was their social circle, family and all the disappointment it would cause.

I want to be married so badly but I admit that those two things scare me as well. What if it doesn't work out? What would it be like to come out the other side?

Now I was the one shocked. Of course S has never worked. She understands why women want to. But she doesn’t need the power and security a job brings as she already has it. Two words strike fear into any married man with money, ‘fifty percent’.

S said she thinks I am foolish not to ask him for upkeep. For me though that is one line I never want to cross. I can’t get out of my head that women who get paid are prostitutes not some one’s lover.

S says that she traded her life, her fertility, her time, her body, maid service, counselling and so on for money and status. Of course love was part of it. But money, and the ability to provide her with the lifestyle and identity she wanted, was the first criteria that had to be met.