Reminder that divorce can be murder

I was watching the Any Fisher story. It was a quiet night in and there was bugger all else on TV. My Loverboy is no 'Buttafucco' and I am certainly not an 'Amy' but there were a few striking similarities.

Buttafucco (B) was being romantinc saying 'I love you' and paying Amy (A) all sorts of compliments while having no intention of leaving his wife.

If what I saw was true and actually did happen and not over fictionalised or skewed then it's interesting to analyse what the dynamics were.

B paged A whenever he had time and he was in the mood for 'sex'. Loverboy lets me know when he thinks there will be 'opportunities' and we plan around his availability. It is a loose arrangement because we never now how the opportunities will pan out. If his wife is going out with her friends for an evening we will pencil it in. But until the day comes and she actually leaves the house it could always be called off. Not to mention he needs to be back home and washed (removing any smells) before she gets home. This is a typical scenario.

B told A he loved and acted very romantically at times. I get this too. It is tough because I could let myself fall so easily in love. Sometimes I think I would love to have him to myself but I keep reminding myself that he can afford to let himself go and forget about her when he is with me and get carried away. I can't because when he gets up to go home to her it will hurt. If I remember his faults and that he is a lying cheating rat then I am more than happy to send him home with his dirty socks while I retire to my bath for long lingering soak in post orgasmic bliss.

Ok Amy was no innocent and I suppose she thought having an older married man after her was an ego boost. That much is true for me too.

But it isn't just Amy that turned to murder. Adultery has been one of the biggest reasons of domestic violence including murder and suicides. These two may seem like buffoons but the newspapers are full of stories of more sensible seeming people who went off the rails.

Last night Loverboy was saying how much he wanted to see to me and to caress me, running my fingers through my hair, smelling my perfume and to be able to spend the night with me and fall asleep with me in my arms... etc. etc. I reminded myself that these are cliches of typical romantic fantasies that everyone has and saying them makes the moment (and the sex) sweeter.

This is giving him a 'fix' nothing more. I am getting my fix too.

He wanted to take a chance and sneak off to my place without knowing how long his wife would be out for. I decided it wasn't worth the risk and made excuses.

Of course I got 'but I just want to see you and to hold your head in my arms'. I stuck to my firm no and we gave it a miss.

I read that there are three 'brains' the emotional brain, the thinking brain and the physical brain.

Ive added a new rule never go with your emotional brain.