Numb

My jealous pang has eased off a bit. I think it was the whole couple thing with all weddings, anniversaries were an unwelcome reminder that it has been 6 years since my last boyfriend. To make matters worse my history of relationships has been crap. The last boyfriend was always saying, "I'm not in love with you, but you will do until somebody more my type comes into my life". It lasted 7 years. We saw each other at weekends when boredom would unite us. Sex was rare and equally boring.

There was only one serious relationship that could have seen me walking down the isle. That ended 20 years ago. He got into drugs and went as low as anyone could go. Cheated on me with strippers. Eventually he was stealing from friends, sleeping rough and knocked up a crack whore. Luckily I was long gone.

I wonder if that is what happens in a lot of relationships except not as extreme. One spouse moves up the scale and the other falls behind and gets fat.

Loverboy called at 11 pm last night drunk and in a bar. I noted that for 5 nights in a row he and his wife had conflicting plans each evening. Both of them work full time and clearly they don't spend much time with each other. He was getting ready to leave and wanted to know if he could stop by on the way home. "I have to see you", he said. "I have been thinking about you all day. I just want to see your face and hold you. God you sound sexy. "What are you wearing?".

He sounded disappointed when I said I was wearing just a pair of panties. "What no bra?" Bras don't feel comfortable as a sleeping garment. I was sleeping alone. I tried to explain but the bar was too noisy. He asked me to leave the hallway light on. I freshened myself up and checked that my home was tidy. I opened my lingere draw and slipped on a white baby doll top to match the panties. I went back to bed. He wouldn't be arriving for at least an hour and I am sure he would find away of waking me.

He loved the baby doll and in particular the panties. His colour is 'white' as he likes me to look pure and feminine. We kissed breifly before he pushed me back down on the bed and spread my legs. His fingers pushed my panties to one side as he fingered my clit and then slid his fingers in. Conversation was brief. He was here to pleasure me and make me moan. He reached into my toy box for my toys and started fucking me with one. He ordered me to get on all fours. I did as he asked knowing what would come next. He doesn't view fucking me with toys to be 'cheating' and it is also his fetish. I let out a moan as he inserted a large vibrator into my ass. I already had one in my pussy and being fucked by the two together was quite intense.

I came quite quickly. Instead of letting up he kept fucking me harder and faster varying his strokes and exploring my holes determined to make me come again and again. Occasionaly it became too intense and quite uncomfortable and I would let out a moan but mostly I moaned with pleasure. Wave after wave of pleasure. Mark loves playing with toys and was in his element.

After about an hour Talk about your previous relationships and make him feel a little bit of pain so he will think of them as rivals and try to prove himself superior.y had to go home to his wife and I was exhausted. Loverboy talked about wanting me to fuck him up the ass again but said it would have to wait for when he has more time. He didn't want to remove his clothes and go home with strange smells on him. This visit was all about me submitting myself to him.

I kept the conversation clear of my insecurities. Well I tried. I did make a comment about their 'romantic vacation'. The pictured of the bedroom cottage with its pretty thatched roof and four poster bed with beautiful white linen and sheer curtains blowing in the tropical breeze was stuck in my head. I've never been to a wedding. But I imagine that they are incredibly romantic and that romance is as infectious as sars. Everyone all talking about love, happiness with the champagne flowing and imaging a better future as a twosome.

"It is not a romantic vacation. We are only going because friends of ours are getting married." Sternly put words but, I reminded myself that he said just recently that he very much loves his wife. Just the day before he said again that he does not want to get divorced. How could he resist not getting swept up in the romance? They are the couple that everyone looks up to. You know the good looking, happy couple, ten years down the line with the beautiful home, great car and luxury lifestyle? They are living the dream. They have what everyone else wants.

It is exactly what I want minus the cheating husband.

When he left I felt numb. I am seeing him again tomorrow. We both have the day off. I sense his feelings for me are getting stronger while my heart is firmly encased in a protective shell.