Could a fear of change be sabotaging my relationships

Six years of singledom and dating countless guys it now feels as though I am destined to remain single. Dating is a minefield. Lot of my friends aren't single five minutes before getting their hooks firmly into the next guy. I have two friends who have been married, divorced and then re-married in less time.

I shared my bed every Friday and Saturday for 5 years with my last beau without progressing any further. While he was dumping me he let it slip that he thought I had a problem with commitment because I never gave him any space in the cloest or anywhere else in my house. My point was he never asked.

He lived with his parents while I own a detatched house. It is very, very small though. It isn't the sort of place where two people could live comfortably. I always thought that upon meeting 'The One' we would get a bigger place that would be 'ours'. I was waiting for him to bring up the subject of our future. Whenever I broached it he said he didn't love me. I saw him when he wanted to see me. It decreased in the last 3 years. It didn't occur to me to offer him drawer space when he couldn't committ to two days in advance.

Heaps of logistical problems sping up when a relationship becomes serious. What if he wants to live closer to his family in a different area? What if he doesn't want a big garden and prefers a flat? What if ... what if... what if.... what if....Houses have to be sold, finances merged and the fear of what if it doesn't work out and we have to unravel this mess?

Some times it does seem like so much hassle and I have to wonder if this is sabatoging my relationships. Perhaps I am too reluctant to make changes?

When browsing the profiles of prospective dates my requirements are:

• Must live in the same area or like the area where I live and want to move there


• Must have equal or similar amount of equity or net worth


• Must like having a garden and barbecues


• Should work in London at a similar level to me


• Should own a nice car


• Should have fairly good DIY skills


• Must want similar lifestyle and share house work 50/50
  

Add to this must have own hair, teeth, good education, steady employment/career, no criminal record, no drugs or alcohol problems, be of good charactor, good income as well as no baggage....(kids) in an over 40 age bracket and it seems I am asking for a miracle.